1
00:00:11,390 --> 00:00:12,830
Is Christine here yet?

2
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:15,350
Nope. Do any minute. Great. Here's the
cake.

3
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:21,330
To Frankie Scissors, welcome back from
the joint. Thanks for taking the rap.

4
00:00:21,910 --> 00:00:24,550
Uh -oh. Must have got the cakes mixed
up.

5
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,970
Well, it's a thought that counts.
Christine's going to adore it.

6
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:32,009
Well, I sure hope Frankie Scissors
adores it when his cake says, we wove

7
00:00:32,009 --> 00:00:33,010
widow mommy.

8
00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:36,150
We need balloons.

9
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,170
Hey, Jack.

10
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:39,750
Hey, yourself, Judge Harry.

11
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:41,250
You happen to have any balloons back
there?

12
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:42,750
Balloons?

13
00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:46,050
Well, let me take as the saying goes, a
shot in the dark.

14
00:00:47,170 --> 00:00:48,170
Balloons.

15
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,150
Balloons.

16
00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,210
Hey, here we go.

17
00:00:52,770 --> 00:00:53,770
What's this?

18
00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:57,290
Balloons. That's what I'm looking for.

19
00:00:57,610 --> 00:00:58,610
How much?

20
00:00:58,870 --> 00:01:00,730
I don't know. How does $2 sound?

21
00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:01,989
Sounds fine.

22
00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:02,990
Here you go.

23
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,060
Two bucks for a pack of stale licorice.

24
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,320
I love guilt.

25
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:12,720
Good evening, friends.

26
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,980
I am psyched for a spectacular evening.

27
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,200
Yeah, it'll be great to have Christine
back.

28
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,480
Christine, what do you mean?

29
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,900
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice,
too. No, what I'm talking about is the

30
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,500
date of a lifetime tonight.

31
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,120
You ever hear of a multimillionaire
named Herbert W. Meyerson?

32
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,660
You're dating a man?

33
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,100
Hurry, he's dead.

34
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,460
You're dating a dead man?

35
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:42,960
No. Angelica, his very merry widow.
Picture this. A night of passion on

36
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:48,520
sea, and air. Tonight, Meyerson
Industries helicopter, yacht, and hotel

37
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:49,680
are at our disposal.

38
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:52,320
God bless corporate America.

39
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:57,800
Oh, I almost forgot. Another phone
message from Donna.

40
00:01:58,020 --> 00:02:01,100
Who is this Donna? She's been calling
all week. She never leaves her phone

41
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,720
number. Doesn't she know I require a
photo and resume?

42
00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:07,760
She's coming! She's coming! Quick!

43
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,100
Everybody hide!

44
00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:11,480
And be real quiet, okay?

45
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:20,478
Oh,

46
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:27,040
man.

47
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,600
I can't believe it. This dingy old
courthouse.

48
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,540
Filled with the dregs of humanity hasn't
changed a bit.

49
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,200
Boy, have I missed it.

50
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,060
Yeah, the dregs have missed you, too.

51
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,340
So, where's Bull?

52
00:02:44,060 --> 00:02:45,060
Bing, Bull.

53
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,780
I missed my cue, didn't I?

54
00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:56,140
Surprise.

55
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,800
So, what's in the bag?

56
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,040
Probably baby pictures.

57
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:05,200
endless monotonous baby pictures, which
I can't wait to see.

58
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:10,260
Come on, Dan. Tony and I are not the
kind of parents to bore our friends with

59
00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:14,640
snapshots. I have, however, put together
a video retrospective

60
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:20,060
entitled Charles Otis Giuliano, the
movie.

61
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,800
I have copies for everyone.

62
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,000
So, tell me how much you missed me.

63
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,100
Oh, we missed you so much.

64
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,420
Guess the place just kind of fell apart
without me, huh?

65
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:38,040
Well, yeah. I got to tell you, the
thought of facing that mountain of

66
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,460
paperwork has got me truly frightened.

67
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,040
Well, no need to be frightened. Good old
Ted took care of it.

68
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,500
Good old Ted?

69
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,880
Yeah, your replacement from legal aid.

70
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,220
Oh, he was good, huh?

71
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,480
What?

72
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000
Define good.

73
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,180
Oh, efficient, punctual, prepared.

74
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,240
Handsome. Smart.

75
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:02,960
Compassionate. Funny.

76
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,320
Generous. He gave us all watches.

77
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,580
I see.

78
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:18,760
Ah, well, I have to pack on a lot of
videos, so, uh, you'll excuse me.

79
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,380
There seems to have been a merry mix
-up.

80
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,600
Frankie Scissors wants his cake.

81
00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:14,710
Uh -huh.

82
00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:16,550
So, um, I don't have to bring anything?

83
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:19,710
You pack the fins and the masks?

84
00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:21,450
And the tear -away wetsuits?

85
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:26,350
Angelica, you give new meaning to the
term synchronized swimming.

86
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,510
Till tonight, my little mermaid.

87
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,190
Well, it seems some things never change.

88
00:05:32,630 --> 00:05:33,630
Hot date, Dan?

89
00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:36,450
Blazing, torrid, scorching.

90
00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:38,750
Who's the victim? Don't know. Haven't
seen her yet.

91
00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:42,550
What, a blind date? Oh, come on. Who do
you trust enough to set you up?

92
00:05:44,409 --> 00:05:45,830
What? Just say a friend?

93
00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:47,430
Good old Ted.

94
00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:48,690
Oh, God. No.

95
00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:58,490
Do you know what my replacement, Mr.
Perfect, did? He got me this beautiful,

96
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,730
expensive fruit basket. Can you imagine?

97
00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:02,790
Well... Not to mention this watch.

98
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:07,150
Yeah, I know. He even re -alphabetized
my Rolodex, and he reupholstered my worn

99
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:08,590
-out sofa, and I don't like it.

100
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:11,950
He did, however, choose a nice, durable
fabric.

101
00:06:13,510 --> 00:06:14,710
Aren't you overreacting?

102
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:18,450
Sure. There is a Ted sandwich on the
menu in the cafeteria.

103
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:27,630
It's not as delicious as everyone says.

104
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:30,970
Why is this bugging you so much?

105
00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:32,410
I don't know, sir.

106
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:37,210
I've been looking forward to coming back
for weeks, thinking that, I don't know,

107
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:38,530
maybe I was missed.

108
00:06:39,590 --> 00:06:42,410
Right now I feel like I'm sweeping up
after a parade.

109
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:44,760
Come on, Christine.

110
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,280
Sure, Ted was good. He was real, real,
real good.

111
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,500
But there was something important
missing, and that was you.

112
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:55,840
All right, sure, I'm important.

113
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:57,200
Sure you are.

114
00:06:57,580 --> 00:07:01,440
Who takes care of the birthdays and
decorates around here at Christmas?

115
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,680
Who hides our eggs at Easter?

116
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,400
Anybody could do that.

117
00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:06,780
Yeah?

118
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:11,360
Well, could anyone have given birth to a
beautiful baby in our elevator?

119
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:14,310
You're a part of this place.

120
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,390
We missed you.

121
00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:20,450
Thanks,

122
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:22,250
Harry. I needed that.

123
00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:32,870
What's so funny, Matt? Oh, I just told
one of Ted's jokes.

124
00:07:34,510 --> 00:07:36,670
What about the cigar in the car door?

125
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:43,290
Oh, you're funny, too.

126
00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:49,830
Yeah, you remember that joke you tell
about... What's up, Mac?

127
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:55,310
This just came for you, sir. I think you
ought to know about it. New York Board

128
00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:56,310
of Education.

129
00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:00,870
Yeah, they were computerizing their
records and discovered you've...

130
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:05,010
incomplete in ninth grade American
history which invalidates your high

131
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,270
diploma. Huh.

132
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:07,860
How do you like that? I'm a dropout.

133
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:10,680
What are you going to do about it, sir?

134
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,560
I'll do what every other dropout does.
Light up a lucky and squeegee some

135
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,560
windshields.

136
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,460
Sir, I really don't think this is a
laughing matter.

137
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,940
I mean, without a high school diploma,
you shouldn't have gotten into college.

138
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,340
And without college, you shouldn't have
gotten into law school.

139
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:32,179
And without law school, I shouldn't be
calling you your honor. Your honor.

140
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,280
I see your point.

141
00:08:36,730 --> 00:08:38,150
Max, see if there's a problem here.

142
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:39,950
Well, I'll go make some calls.

143
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:44,750
Gee, if you hadn't been here, I would
have just laughed at that letter and

144
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:48,910
thrown it away. But now you got me
scared enough that I'm making calls and

145
00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:50,410
probably making things worse.

146
00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:53,790
Possibly jeopardizing my career.

147
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:57,450
Nice to have you back.

148
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,030
Great to be back, sir.

149
00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:05,030
$50 in time served.

150
00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:26,170
What the heck was

151
00:09:26,170 --> 00:09:28,850
that? French. Ted taught us during lunch
breaks.

152
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,050
I've just about had it with this Ted
guy.

153
00:09:33,310 --> 00:09:34,310
Yeah, me too.

154
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:36,810
Finally, a dissenting opinion.

155
00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:38,089
Who are you?

156
00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:39,790
Oh, Lizette Hochheiser.

157
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,830
I'm new.

158
00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:46,030
So, Lizette, tell me. What was it about
Ted that really bugged you?

159
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:51,370
Well, I'm already fluent in French, you
know. So by the time he got around to my

160
00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:54,370
Russian lessons, he had to leave because
you came back.

161
00:09:55,510 --> 00:09:57,950
You know, come to think of it, it's your
fault.

162
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:03,130
Don't worry. I'm not one to hold a
grudge. Nice to meet you.

163
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:11,360
Again? Who is this woman? I have no
idea. I check my computer at home. You

164
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,360
strangely enough, I've never had a
Donna. Two Dagmars, a Dana, a Dana, but

165
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,360
Donna.

166
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,640
Hey, good news, sir, from the Board of
Ed. Oh, yeah?

167
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,820
Yeah. Seems that all you got to do is
pass your ninth grade history exam and

168
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:25,360
your records will be cleared.

169
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,420
I have to take a test? Yeah. In ninth
grade history?

170
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,960
Mm -hmm. Oh, man, I feel a zip coming
on.

171
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:36,300
Don't worry, sir. The board has set up a
tutor to make sure you pass.

172
00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:39,610
She's on her way over. I don't want to
take a test.

173
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:42,230
Harry, it's no big deal. All you got to
do is fill one of those little plastic

174
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,230
cups.

175
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:49,770
Change of subject, Mac. Yes, sir. People
versus McCuddy. Breaking and entering.

176
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:53,230
Your Honor, there's a simple and logical
explanation for my claim. Hold it.

177
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:54,630
Who are you?

178
00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:56,310
Oh, I'm Christine Sullivan, your
attorney.

179
00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:58,330
Where's Ted?

180
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:02,230
He's not here anymore.

181
00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:05,470
Oh, I want to change my plea to guilty.

182
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:09,570
Well, it is. Held over for arraignment.

183
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:13,670
And that's lunch.

184
00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:17,950
But nobody order the you -know -who
sandwich.

185
00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:22,830
So, anybody else here? Miss Ted?

186
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:31,590
Yeah, Artie. Dan Fielding here. Listen,
I want to talk about increasing my

187
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:33,970
insurance. No, no, no, no, no. I need
coverage now.

188
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:37,970
I am dating a woman who is putting the
naughty back in nautical.

189
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:41,850
She's a major risk taker, and I want
protection.

190
00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:43,169
Excuse me.

191
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,890
Just take a number, honey. I'll be with
you in a minute.

192
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:50,250
Listen, Artie, isn't there some sort of,
like, passion rider we can add to this?

193
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:54,730
Just... All right, tell you what. Just
dump another 50 grand into that internal

194
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,350
injury clause, all right? You don't
remember me, do you?

195
00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,590
No, but give me a minute, and you'll
never forget me.

196
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,540
Listen to me. This is a big time here.

197
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,320
It's a chance of a lifetime. Nothing's
going to stand in my way, all right?

198
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,080
Dan, it's me, Donna.

199
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,580
You mean like Donna of a thousand
messages, Donna?

200
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:15,740
Do we know each other from somewhere?

201
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:17,120
I would hope so, Dan.

202
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:18,720
I'm your baby sister.

203
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,280
Okay,

204
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,740
here he is when we were changing his
first diaper.

205
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,590
That's great.

206
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:42,810
Everybody, this is my sister, Donna.

207
00:12:43,670 --> 00:12:44,670
Donna?

208
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:45,890
Everybody.

209
00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:47,410
I'll see you in the cafeteria.

210
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:52,730
Help me.

211
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:55,690
Dan, you really got a sister?

212
00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:57,030
This is true.

213
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:58,790
But you told us you were an only child.

214
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:00,630
I wanted the attention.

215
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,350
Gee, big age difference between the two
of you.

216
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:06,920
She was kind of an accident.

217
00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:08,400
Not planned, huh?

218
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,420
No, an accident. I accidentally backed
the truck into Papa as he was helping

219
00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:12,420
Mama unload the groceries.

220
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,060
Nine months later, a blessed event.

221
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,000
Fertile land, that Bayou.

222
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,620
What am I supposed to do? I don't even
know her. I mean, she was three years

223
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:28,499
when I left home.

224
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,160
I can't relate to her. We have nothing
in common.

225
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:32,780
How about parents?

226
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,980
Oh, sure. Ma and Pa Kettle.

227
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,320
Then what?

228
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:41,120
The truth is, I'm ashamed to face her. I
was a pretty lousy brother.

229
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,700
Oh, come on, Dan. You couldn't have been
that bad.

230
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,500
Christine, my last words to her were,
there is no Santa Claus.

231
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,620
What?

232
00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:06,490
Now, your sister is not a child. Have
you thought about talking to her?

233
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:08,570
What do you mean, like adults?

234
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,730
Or as close as you can get.

235
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:15,050
Well, I guess I could take her out to
dinner or something. I could even buy.

236
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,370
That sounds brotherly to me.

237
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,270
Thank you, everybody.

238
00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:20,550
I'm going to do the right thing.

239
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:24,150
Well, I guess you're going to miss your
big date, huh, Diver Dan?

240
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:28,010
My God, Angelica, what, am I crazy?

241
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:32,160
Giving up a night of deep sea passion
for a distant relative.

242
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,620
Dan.

243
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,160
Okay.

244
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:42,060
Okay. I'll have dinner with her. I'll
spend the evening with my... sister.

245
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,300
Sounds wrong. It feels wrong.

246
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,120
Must be right.

247
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,800
You wouldn't by any chance be Angelica,
would you?

248
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,240
No.

249
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,920
Of course. For a moment it all seemed so
simple.

250
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:02,410
I'm looking for a Harold T. Stone.

251
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:03,629
That's me.

252
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:05,110
Allow me to introduce myself.

253
00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:08,870
My name is Miss Crombie.

254
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:10,990
I am a history tutor.

255
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:13,030
Ancient history.

256
00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:18,590
Would you like to share your little joke
with the class, young lady?

257
00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:22,450
No, ma 'am.

258
00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,090
It was Roz who talked.

259
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:29,320
Excuse me, young man, are you chewing
gum?

260
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,800
Don't ask.

261
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,680
Then what did you just swallow?

262
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,620
I think it was my bridge.

263
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,840
This is ninth grade history. If you're
not in this class, you don't belong

264
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,060
Well, if you want me, I'll be in the
lunchroom shaking down the freshmen.

265
00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:54,420
Now, Harold, we have one week.

266
00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:58,040
to learn 200 years of American history.

267
00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:00,280
No sweat. Fire away.

268
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,100
Name all the signers of the Declaration
of Independence.

269
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,880
Do you have anything in a true or false
area?

270
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,780
Thanks for the milk, Dan.

271
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,420
But nowadays I usually take a little
coffee in it.

272
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,120
Sorry, I'll get you some. No, don't
worry. Milk is fine.

273
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:33,540
Good. So,

274
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,460
how are Mama and Daddy Bob?

275
00:16:37,060 --> 00:16:40,660
Great. They're still basking in the glow
of the big 50th anniversary party I

276
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:41,660
threw them.

277
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,500
Sorry, I couldn't make that.

278
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:44,719
Oh, it's okay.

279
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:45,720
They understood.

280
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,220
Besides, they really got a lot of use
out of that toast you sent them.

281
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:52,460
Especially after the town got
electricity.

282
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,560
So what's the news from the garden spot
of the Great Swamp?

283
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,460
I ran into an old friend of yours, Kitty
Landreau.

284
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:04,179
Pretty Kitty.

285
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,599
Oh, does that name bring back memories?

286
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,440
I took her to the prom, you know that?

287
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,000
What is she doing nowadays?

288
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:11,660
Looking after nine grandchildren.

289
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,020
So what brings you to the big city? Did
you win the jelly bean con at the

290
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,020
general store?

291
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,839
Well, actually, I'm here on business.

292
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:23,839
I work for Farmer Frank.

293
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,250
Oh. Still can't get the dirt from under
your fingernails, huh?

294
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:30,030
Farmer Frank, Inc., the meat packer out
of Atlanta.

295
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:31,990
I'm vice president of marketing.

296
00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:34,130
I'm here for the pork expo at the
garden.

297
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,350
You're a vice president?

298
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:38,910
No big deal.

299
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:42,110
But I've got bigger pork to fry.

300
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,110
That's why I'm here.

301
00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:48,250
I thought it might be a good opportunity
to lay the foundation.

302
00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:50,090
What do you mean?

303
00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:52,190
I mean make some connections.

304
00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,490
Work the room.

305
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:58,510
Rub some elbows.

306
00:17:58,730 --> 00:18:00,170
Press the flesh.

307
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:01,450
Press the skin.

308
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:04,170
Play the game. Carry the ball. Lick the
boots. And suck up!

309
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,290
Oh, Dan, what must you think of me?

310
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:10,150
I think I should be taking notes.

311
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,310
Have some coffee, sis.

312
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:14,750
Oh,

313
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,570
isn't that sweet?

314
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:18,490
Brother and sister connecting.

315
00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:20,870
And Dan thought they'd have nothing in
common.

316
00:18:22,399 --> 00:18:26,200
So, the thing is, if you pay through
bank foreclosure, then the house usually

317
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,180
comes furnished. Right, right, and then
you rent it back to yourself for the tax

318
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:30,180
write -off. Bingo.

319
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,360
Oh, Dan, I want it all.

320
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:37,200
Cars, power, fame, money, especially
money. Lots and lots and lots of it. Oh,

321
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,120
the fielding genes do run deep.

322
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:44,940
Oh, listen, I was going to... I had a
business meeting this evening. Why don't

323
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:49,180
cancel it, take you to dinner? I know
this great little Filipino -Cajun place.

324
00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:52,710
No, I wouldn't feel right about it.

325
00:18:52,970 --> 00:18:56,730
We haven't seen each other in 20 years.
What is one more night? Go to your

326
00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:58,510
meeting. Well, what'll you do?

327
00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:02,430
First time in New York, you know,
thought I'd take a stroll through Times

328
00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:06,430
Square. Sweetheart, nobody strolls
through Times Square. They run through

329
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:07,430
screaming.

330
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:10,810
I'll go to my meeting if you'll take
some protection.

331
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:12,490
Protection? Bull!

332
00:19:12,930 --> 00:19:13,930
Yep.

333
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:15,690
Do me a favor.

334
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:18,570
Take care of my little sister, show her
around town, see the sights.

335
00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:20,950
Sure, but it'll have to wait till after
session.

336
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:22,469
Oh, no, no, no.

337
00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:24,110
Go now. I'll pull some strings.

338
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:28,150
Okay. But I'm a little financially
embarrassed.

339
00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:30,690
All right. Well, here, here.

340
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,150
Here's 50 bucks.

341
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:34,550
I'm also a little transportationally
embarrassed.

342
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:36,450
Don't push it. Gotcha.

343
00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:39,530
Wait till you see my New York.

344
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:42,590
If we hurry, we can catch the 1030 hose
down at the fish market.

345
00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:47,590
$50 in time, sir.

346
00:19:48,649 --> 00:19:49,649
What's next, Mac?

347
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:54,810
Uh, the blue versus the gray, sir. Oh,
more gang violence, huh? Oh, no. A

348
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:56,330
rumble called the Civil War.

349
00:19:57,590 --> 00:19:58,590
More homework?

350
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:01,730
Yeah. Mac, this is ridiculous. I can't
even take a breath without somebody

351
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:05,110
shoving a page of factoids in my face.
Yeah, you know, that Miss Crumpy is

352
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:09,190
tough. You know, she just nailed George
Davis for smoking in the bar's room. No.

353
00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,310
Yeah, I made him run 20 laps around the
courthouse.

354
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,630
Mac, I'm not gonna do it.

355
00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:17,970
I'm a competent judge without a degree,
and I see no reason to change now. Call

356
00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:18,909
the next case.

357
00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:19,910
All right.

358
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:25,830
Next case, people versus... Ted!

359
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:32,710
Ted?

360
00:20:33,930 --> 00:20:37,350
Good old Ted.

361
00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:40,450
I don't get it. Why are you dressed like
that?

362
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:43,750
Apparently, our former colleague... was
in the midst of an appendectomy when he

363
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:45,830
was arrested for impersonating a
surgeon.

364
00:20:47,170 --> 00:20:50,150
Why would a lawyer want to impersonate a
doctor?

365
00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:51,670
Further complications.

366
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:55,030
It seems he's not a lawyer either.

367
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:57,630
Not a lawyer?

368
00:20:57,870 --> 00:20:58,870
Not a lawyer?

369
00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:00,250
Not a lawyer?

370
00:21:00,610 --> 00:21:01,890
Not a lawyer?

371
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:05,810
How was that? Could you read that back
to me?

372
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:09,510
Not a lawyer.

373
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,980
Throw the book at him. Christine, you're
supposed to be defending me. Don't tell

374
00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:24,980
me my job, Ted.

375
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:26,760
If that indeed is your real name.

376
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,560
Oh, Ted, Ted, Ted, why'd you do it?

377
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:33,800
I have lots of interest, Harry. What can
I say?

378
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,500
I'm a dabbler.

379
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,460
What can I say? Held over for felony
arraignment.

380
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:44,280
Jeez.

381
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:45,800
Who would have thought?

382
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,400
Well...

383
00:21:48,569 --> 00:21:51,030
Someone impersonating a guy with a valid
degree.

384
00:21:57,170 --> 00:21:58,170
Sir?

385
00:21:58,430 --> 00:21:59,530
Yeah, I read you, Mac.

386
00:22:00,850 --> 00:22:03,530
All right, that's it for tonight. I got
some cramming to do.

387
00:22:04,050 --> 00:22:05,590
Come to think of it, so do I.

388
00:22:10,110 --> 00:22:11,410
Dan, come on.

389
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,790
You're not pooping out on me, are you?

390
00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:15,610
Coming, Angelica.

391
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,820
walk when you've had the bends.

392
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,720
Don't worry, you're safe.

393
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,860
We're in your element now.

394
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,240
Ah, yes.

395
00:22:29,460 --> 00:22:30,460
A hotel.

396
00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:34,860
Dan!

397
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:36,160
Uh, Donna!

398
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,420
This is your business meeting?

399
00:22:40,380 --> 00:22:41,380
Well, yes.

400
00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:45,300
In a manner of speaking, it's a, um,
well, it's a long story.

401
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:47,440
Well, I'll be glad to tell you sometime.

402
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,840
Say!

403
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,960
Do we have any more of that room mocking
stuff?

404
00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:02,440
Dan! Oh.

405
00:23:04,260 --> 00:23:05,260
Don't.

406
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,360
Please tell me you didn't sleep
together.

407
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:10,840
Heavens, no.

408
00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:13,900
We only had sex.

409
00:23:37,390 --> 00:23:38,390
you